Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
