He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
