I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
