I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
