Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
