Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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