At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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