She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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