sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
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