I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
