we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
