I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
