Rock
Scissors
Fuck
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
