Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
