you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
