I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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