I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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