that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
