i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
