is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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