Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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