Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I party with great urgency now.
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