eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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