we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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