Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
