What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
