Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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