an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i now understand why vodka
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
