I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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