Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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