He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
