Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
