he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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