I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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