This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
