after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
