Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
