In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
