I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
