it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
