This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
