That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
