I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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