trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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