I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
