And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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