we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
