I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
