Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
