Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
