oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
