nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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